Journaling isn't helping

I think blogging is starting to cause me to journal less. Journaling is less exciting for me now. I realized this the other day as I was staring blankly at my mosquito net. I wasn’t feeling very well, so I opened my journal intending to write, but instead I just started reading my journal. I was fascinated by my self. Excited all over again by my engaging thoughts which were recorded for my convenience by my own hand. Self affirmation of the purest variety. I also noticed myself thinking how smart I thought I was. For instance, this thought entered my mind as I read an entry from March 7th 2006: “Wow, this entry is over a year old! I can’t believe I knew all that about life back then. Incredible.”
It’s worth mentioning that I started journaling in the first place so that I could notice unhealthy thought patterns, or emotional habits that may be reoccurring so that I could start changing for the better once I recognized them. I don’t know if that makes sense. I wanted to see bad patterns in my thinking so I could then change once recognized. But as I read my journals, I found myself completely agreeing with my former self. In some cases cheering my former self on, excited about my thoughts at the time, and my thoughts in general about all things. Sometimes I wanted to edit some of my thoughts in some entries giving new insight that I’ve since learned, that further supports what I then already suspected. But before I made the edits, I stopped myself. It seemed weird editing my thoughts/journal entries (I wondered if anyone else thought about editing their journal… what are the implications of such a move)… but I didn’t want to make a new entry… So I just sat there. Staring. It was then I realized that journaling isn’t going to help me see those bad patterns I was looking for; it was only going to feed my self, and build even more narcisism. In addition to this journaling would then solidify my self in me. Oh what a wretched man am I. This could be my personal rendition of Rom 7, only completely different. Yes, definately different than Rom 7. I'm not going to give up on journaling yet. That's what I've just decided. I'll keep journaling, but I won't use it at a intervention for change.